


Meet the magic

by Criscpi



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Birthday Party, Falling In Love, M/M, Passion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25370368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criscpi/pseuds/Criscpi
Summary: Robbe had to struggle a very hard time and he needs to have fun...What happens when suddenly a blonde boy change this perspective?
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans, Senne De Smet/Zoë Loockx
Comments: 26
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

Zoe and Senne are sitting on the couch watching a music program.  
Senne plays with a lock of the girl's hair:

"It's only a few weeks till your birthday, darling," says Senne. "What would you like to organize my beautiful almost eighteen year old girl?"

"I'd love to be able to throw a costume party, but I don't know if I have enough time."

“I can help you, and if you ask your friends, I'm sure they'll help you. Let's divide up the tasks: I'll take care of the location and the bar area... The rest is up to you."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Zoe kisses her boyfriend's face.

"hey, what's going on here?" Milan comes directly from the kitchen with a nice cup of hot coffee. 

"Birthday costume party! Start thinking of a costume that'll characterize you."

“Oh Zoe... I already have something in mind... I'll amaze you!"

“Just don't stole my scene!  
Oh, by the way:  
Robbeeeeee"

Zoe enters Robbe's room, who is playing online with her friends...

"Tell me Zoe."

Robbe pauses the game 

"I'm celebrating my 18th birthday in a few weeks, and of course you'll be there, right? You'll have to look for a costume..."

“Zoe, thanks, but it's not really the time."

“Come on Robbe, I know you're not having a good time... ...but the bartender will worry about soft drinks and then there'll be lots of people and cute guys..."

“Zoe, has anyone ever said no to you?"

“Someone... but since then I have no idea what happened to them."

Zoe kisses Robbe on the cheek and before leaving her room she says:

"Invite your friends too... I want you to feel comfortable. I'm sure this party will make you feel good and leave you with something special."

"Thanks Zoe, I love you."

It was a difficult time for Robbe. For a few days his mother had been taken to rehab. His alcohol abuse had crossed the line for the last time. He and his father had talked about it a week earlier while she was unconscious and they were taking her to bed together.

"Robbe son, you and I love Mom very much, but at the moment we can't help her.  
She needs another kind of help and physical and mental support. Our love is not enough this time."

"Dad, Let's take her where she will be better,we need her but we'll manage until she can do without alcohol."

So, after talking to her about it, she went into the clinic.

Robbe was already living alone, in an apartment with some people who had quickly become part of his life.  
Being there, a few steps away from his school, had been a good choice considered his school results.  
But he had promised his parents that once his mother had solved her problems, he would come home.  
He had not hidden his family problems from his roommates: he knew he would find support and he was not wrong.

“Milan! Will you take me to pick out a costume for Zoe's party?"

Robbe hated these kinds of parties and let's face it, parties in general, but Zoe was right and he knew it would be good for him too.

"I've already taken care of it, sweetie. With your body, anything would be perfect, but... it's a party and there'll be a lot of cute guys there. You need something that says I look sexy under these clothes."

"Milan... Harry Potter? Preally?"

"Robbe... trust me."

Zoe had organized a huge party in 2 weeks: balloons, music, buffet that even at the coolest wedding ever seen.  
Senne had found a really ideal place: so much space and far from the town, so the guests could dance all night long.  
The birthday girl arrives beautiful in her sparkling Tinkerbell costume with Senne at her side, modern Peter Pan without tights.  
Robbe's friends instead preferred to disguise themselves as superheroes: Captain America, Hulk and Thor... a decidedly funny version that paid off during the party. 

“Hey Robbe"

In front of him an Aladdin covered in self-tanner and glitter.

"Milan... What the f...wow!"

“Yeah... I'm gonna go check it out. Looks like there's some interesting guys next to the dj console. 

“You're still the same Milan! See you later and have a good hunt!"

Robbe approaches the buffet; he steals a couple of grapes and moves to the drinks area: he feels a bit guilty, as if he was about to betray his mother. Luckily Senne is a great guy and friend and has really prepared an area completely dedicated to soft drinks.

Suddenly a girl dressed as a mermaid is approaching 

"Can I get a beer?" She asks Robbe 

"Sure, take whatever you want."

The siren approaches and tells him

"Well, then I want you too."

Her lips come dangerously close: Robbe puts his hand in front of her mouth and when the girl withdraws, he is able to explain himself:

"Forgive me, but I'm not interested in girls."

The mermaid without bothering him turns the shoulders and walks away.

Robbe looks around and while sipping his drink, he watches the party going on around him 

“Is that Good?"

He's turning around. A vision. A boy with a white suit and platinum hair is looking at him: the white mask on his face frames his eyes with the colour of the sea.  
Robbe is standing in silence, as if hypnotized by all that beauty all at once, but he knows that he must respond and as soon as possible: he recovers from the beauty of that boy and says:

"If you don't drink alcohol like I do, it's not bad at all."

Sander, dressed as Little Prince, arrives at the party: he looks around and immediately notices a young magician.  
He has a black mask on his face, but something attracts him.  
A girl dressed as a mermaid, with a breathtaking body, approaches him and tries to kiss him. Sander can't help but feel a certain annoyance. As if the magician was his. As if...  
The boy rejects her and Sander decides to come closer. The party doesn't matter to him anymore. The music doesn't either. He wants to meet that angel dressed in black as soon as possible. 

He starts the approach with a classic and banal question and when they look at each other he immediately realizes that their eyes were created to look at each other forever. 

"How come you don't like alcohol?"  
Robbe looked at him and immediately felt that the boy deserved the truth. He couldn't explain how, but he knew he wouldn't leave. 

"My mother's an alcoholic and she's trying to get sober. I don't want to... I don't even care to try again at the moment"

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to be indelicate."  
Sander looks at him deeply: he can't explain why he would want to hug him and stay like that until the morning.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come out of it great. That's why I don't try to hide this."

Sander smiles at him and for a moment the world seems a wonderful place.

"I know how it works: I'm a former alcoholic."

The thing that fascinates Sander the most is what happens immediately afterwards  
Most people would have asked him a thousand questions, but the magician didn't, he didn't need to. He knew what he wanted to say and yet his face hasn't changed, no sentences, no pity. On the contrary, Robbe answered:   
"Well Little Prince, then Harry Potter recommends this."

And he offers him his glass.  
The tension between the two is evident, but is broken by the arrival of the cake.  
The lights go out and Senne brings his girlfriend a Zoe style cake: giant, pink and full of candles.

Everyone sings good wishes and it is at this point that Robbe is taken by the hand and carried away from the chaos of the festivities.  
Sander takes him to the farthest corner from the crowd.

"There's no one here, it's just the two of us here..."

"I couldn't ask for better."

They look at each other. For endless minutes they exchange glances that speak only of desire.  
Robbe doesn't want to wait anymore.  
He caresses the boy and kisses him. And again and again...  
Their mouths open, their tongues touch and caress each other: both still have the taste of the shared drink but through their kisses, they discover the taste of each other's mouth.  
Around them the music changes and the dances dedicated to couples begin. 

"Dance with me"

Sander accompanies Robbe among the other couples  
Their fingers won't stop being crossed...  
Robbe rests his other arm around his prince's shoulders, while Sander wraps the wizard's waist around him as if they were merging into each other.

"You taste good"

Robbe is intoxicated by the smell of Sander's skin... "I didn't hear it, say it again..."

Robbe draws with his lips a road from the prince's neck to his ear and once it reaches his ear he whispers to him: "I said I love your smell".

Sander savours with his eyes closed the game that Robbe's tongue is playing on his neck and ear.

"Let's go away"

They leave the crowd again: now is Robbe who’s leading the couple.  
They return to the place of their first kisses  
Robbe takes off his cloak and sits down on Sander and throws his cloak on them 

"What are we doing?"

"We are under the cloak of invisibility... here we can do what we want."

They rub face to face: new kisses, new discoveries, new places to put their lips.  
They touch each other, discover each other, look for ways to please each other.  
Sander slides his hands all over Robbe's chest until he finds the button on his pants: he plays a little bit in that area, tickling the boy's belly, to see if he can really go a little further.  
He understands that he can continue when Robbe takes Sander's hands and stops them on his zipper and so does Robbe: caressing themselves without hurry until the pleasure reaches its climax.  
They can't stop: neither of them would want to interrupt the moment.  
In one of the moments when they take a break to catch their breath, Robbe whispers: 

"Why don't we take our masks off?"

"Because we would break the magic"

"I don't think I've ever experienced magic this powerful."

"Neither can I... I can't stop thinking I want to be like this forever..."

Robbe caressed him: it wasn't just passion, it wasn't anything like what he experienced during his occasional encounters... the universe was certainly creating something special for them.

Sander had always had clear ideas when it came to sex, but this guy had stirred it all up.  
He had known him for a few hours, but he would trust him with his life because he was sure he would guard it better than he had done until now.  
The party was slowly weeping at the end; the lights would be on soon and Sander... he hated goodbyes.

"I have to go."

"Tell me I'll see you again"

"I hope fate will help us find each other..."

Robbe without a thought embraces him. Tight.

"Otherwise I'll use my magic."

They look for a strength to leave that they couldn't find.  
Their arms fit together perfectly 

"I don't want to go"

"I don't want you to leave... come away with me..."

Sander rubs his nose against Robbe's. 

"What about magic? You don't want to break it... not tonight."

"I'll find you my prince"

"I'll let your magic follow me everywhere"

And kisses, kisses again...

"Good night"

"Good night"

How painful it is to see his little prince's shoulders disappear among the people:

Robbe stands still; his thoughts filled with images of the evening and instinctively, he puts his hands close to his face filling his nostrils again with the taste of those hours.  
Perhaps he really wanted to follow him.

“Hey Robbe... I noticed a certain blonde guy..."

"Not now Milan, we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?"

"Robbe, listen, sometimes a few hours is a good way to feel alive and start over, and you needed it."

When Milan looks at Robbe he notices his eyes full of tears

"Oh no then it happened"

"What Milan?"

"The meeting with your person"

Robbe doesn't answer, he takes off his cloak and he is approaching the exit in silence with his friend

"Won't you come watch the sunrise?"

"No, I'd rather go home."

"Shall we talk about it now or tomorrow? I'll go with you if you want."

"No Aladdin, finish up your night and tomorrow we'll talk about it."

Robbe returns home with the constant thought that it was the prince who did the real magic because he would stay with him all night and beyond.


	2. Maybe, one day

Robbe's looking for his prince on all the socials that might lead him to find the blond guy from the night before.  
Every friend of Zoe's, every friend of Senne's from school... nothing that search wasn't paying off.  
That night in his room he hadn't been able to fall asleep: that banal meeting during a party had brought much more. It had to be much more because Robbe had never felt this way before.  
Since the green-eyed boy had greeted him he felt a weight on his heart.  
He remembered that he had had some intense meetings but also thanked him for not having continued the acquaintance.  
This time it was different.  
Different and powerful.  
This time he cursed this game of not exchanging numbers, not showing up and knowing each other's names.   
To follow each other on socials and see how it would go.  
That morning while he was still asleep, he felt empty and alone.  
He wanted to be Embraced again by his prince.  
While his thoughts are deafening him Milan enters the kitchen.

"There's nothing like a good cup of coffee after such a busy evening! Aaahhhh Zoe and Senne should organize more parties."

Robbe smiles at him. He knows Perfectly what Milan means.

"New meetings Aladdin?”

Milan takes some coffee and sits next to Robbe.

"Are you kidding? I had to make a choice! But it was a lot of fun. Listen, kid, do you feel like talking?"

Robbe puts out his smile. He can't help but feel the tears rising towards his eyes.

"There's not much to say. We met and kissed and then said goodbye without even knowing about each other.  
Milan it isn't normal, I... I miss him so much as if he'd stolen an important part from me."

Milan puts his hand on the young man's shoulder 

"As I told you yesterday, he's your person, I’m more than sure and from the look on his face when he was leaving, it’s the same for him. Have you already done some research?"

Together they tried to find some data on social networking sites with no results. 

"Robbe don't lose hope, okay? I'm going to unleash some knowledge that was at the party,  
These weeks off from school will help us. Now, my dear boy in love, I'm going to take a shower because this glitter... “

"Thank you milan"

Robbe's phone rings, it's his father who invites him to go together to visit his mother.

"Hi mom, how are you?"

How nice to see her again. The last time was when he greeted her at the entrance of the clinic: a woman with dark circles under her eyes, her face was lost and her body Was skinny and worn out: after a month of treatments Robbe felt in his arms already a marked improvement. He knew that the it would have been a long and tiring journey, but seeing her like this bodes well.

"I'm fine, my boys, I'm fine.   
Better to say. I've yet to defeat several ghosts, but I've subdued the first ones."

Mom and Dad wouldn't stop stroking each other: it was nice to see them like that, like a young couple in love.

Too bad the time they could spend together wasn't enough for either of them.   
On their way back to the car park Robbe's father proposed to the boy: 

"Next week I'll go to the cottage with some students from the photography class. Would you like to come with me? You'd give me a hand, we'd spend some time together and we could use a change of air... I've seen you...  
A little thoughtful today..."

"Yeah, well, sorry, Dad, I didn't mean to worry you."

Robbe felt a little guilty: the thought of the blond boy didn't leave him even for a second.

"The point is, I'm not worried... I think I'm in love."

It was the first time he said it out loud. He could brood for hours but there was no other way to say it: he was in love with a stranger.

"Then why that face? Aren't you happy you're in love?"

"Dad, the point is, after Zoe's party, I haven't heard from him.   
Because we didn't exchange our damn numbers.  
We wanted to be mysterious but the point is that now I can't not think about it and I can't figure out how to get in touch with him."

Before getting into the car, the father stops, looks around as if looking for words and says to him:

"Robbe, I don't want to deceive you that everything will be alright, but love decides to do some strange laps before stopping.  
If you see him again, it will happen... and then if you reorganize a new party he might show up again... come help me set up my equipment.”

Robbe is feeling a little lighter and more hopeful. He doesn't know if the words of   
his father made sense, but the idea of a new party where his boy could be there electrified him.

Sander wakes up and feels that terrible weight in his chest. He knows what it is. It's all because of his stupidity. Why didn't he ask the name of that magician? Why not exchange phone numbers?   
It had been a good game, but the price was too high.  
God how much he wanted to find himself in that boy's arms.   
How could he see him again?  
He kept checking on the socials to see if there were any new parties, but with the two weeks of the school stopping, not even a trace of them... he has to find a way to see him again to at least shout his name or write his email address on his hand.... 

Sander puts his head against the wall.

"What's wrong with your head little brother ?"

Britt comes out of her room with headphones around her neck.

“Britt, I made an unforgivable mistake."

"One?"

"Come on, I'm serious. I met a guy the other night at that party you made me take you to. Best meeting of my life. But I got all mysterious and now I have no idea how to reach him. “

"Sander... but why do you always have to be the damn one? Once you enjoy the things that happen to you to the fullest."

"You know very well that..."

"No, stop. I know. But you're here now and you're part of this family and you have to enjoy what life has to offer. You don't deserve to feel bad, okay?"  
Sander sighs. The battles inside him haven't stopped for too long.

"I know, you're right. But how do I do it now?"

While he's talking to his half sister Sander, he gets a phone call:

"Ten days? Sure, gladly. Tonight or tomorrow? Can I call you back in two minutes? Thank you."

“Who is it?"

Britt asks him while he's making breakfast.

"You know my internship week? It could be 10 days, and I could leave tonight. What do you say I take it?"

Britt offers Sander a chair and sits in front of him

“Sander, of course you must accept! You'll do the thing you love most in the world for 10 days and in the meantime I'll try to find a way to know the names of the guests at Zoe's party, okay?"

Sander nods and calls his professor back. 10 days of photography internship will be a panacea in the hope that Britt will help him solve the identity of the boy who stole his heart.


	3. And suddenly you

Having arrived at the foot of the hill where the professor's chalet is located, Sander decides to walk there.  
The spectacle before his eyes is indescribable: he takes his camera and starts doing what he loves to do more than anything else: impressing an image to make it eternal.

He arrives at the cottage first: the professor has warned him that he would probably arrive in less than half an hour.

He then decides to sit on the lawn in front of the house: the cottage looked really big and well kept and the sunset was colouring its walls with a wonderful shade of pink.

Sander decides to go to the top of the hill to start taking some pictures: that sunset is spectacular. "Sander!"  
Sander turns around, recognizes the professor's voice.

"Good evening Professor, congratulations this place is really... unique."

The boy, that boy who just got out of the car... his curls falling on his forehead, the dimples that are created on his face when he smiles... and those eyes... how many things he can feel looking at those eyes.

Try to imagine him with a cape, a scar on his forehead... it's definitely him, he feels it.  
He feels how his body is vibrating. Every inch of his body is confirming his theory.  
He's speechless. Happily speechless.

"Sander, this is my son Robbe. He'll stay with us and help us to organise everything. Ask him anything. He knows this place like the back of his hand."

——————————————————

After taking the little road that leads to the cottage, Robbe is invaded by memories: for him that has always been a special place, which had only managed to create positive memories.

Summers with his grandparents, with peeled knees and muddy hands, or when he spent the winter waiting for Christmas with his parents: presents, hot chocolate and the scent of cinnamon.

"Daddy, when Mummy gets better... what do you think if we come and spend some time here at the cottage? We haven't done it for too long."

"I agree, I think it's a good idea!"

As he gets out of the car he realizes that his father is already talking to one of his students... as soon as his scented back moves Robbe is hit by a green wave: those eyes could only belong to his prince.  
That's impossible.  
No, but, seriously, how is that possible? Truly, destiny has given him so soon a second chance?

"Robbe?"

"Yes"

“Okay, you are back to planet Earth.  
This is Sander, one of my best student."

Their hands touch each other and for both of them all doubts disappear: if the eyes had already given answers, finding that perfect touch had definitely clarified everything: how could they have had time to talk, to be together, to understand where this powerful feeling was leading them?

"Hi n...nice to meet you, I’m Robbe."

"Same....I’m Sander... “

Luckily Robbe's father needed the help of the two guys

“Hey, how about you two help me carry all this stuff in the house?"

Both nodded and silently carried suitcases and equipment inside the house.  
They continued to exchange shy glances.

“Professor, do you mind if I go for a walk?" 

Sander needed to clear his head...

“Sure, but don't stray. If you don't know the area, stick around."

Sander hurried out. He had to breathe. Breathe and think. And call Britt. No. Bad idea. All her sister would do is tell him what he already knew.  
Just breathe. Just take it easy. You found him. Your steady thought, your pulse, the reason for your best dreams.

Now Sander just has to figure out how. How the hell to face all this love and make it real.  
His happiness was touching heights never felt before.  
Not only did he know his name now, he was going to spend time with him.  
Time. How much he’d hated time until recently. But now he had finally found a reason to stop doing it. 

Robbe's hands were shaking.  
He still couldn't believe it.  
Sander... even the name was perfect.  
How he'd missed feeling his presence next to him...  
But now? Now how could he go back to that night? Why did it seem difficult now?  
The wind had risen outside. A storm was brewing.

“I'll start making dinner, Robbe will you try to find Sander?"

Who knew his father would give him the perfect opportunity?

It was starting to rain. Soon the rain would become incessant; he couldn't wait for him at the cottage, perhaps it was better to go and look for him.  
There she is. The real rain, the wall of storm water. The phone light would be useless in a minute.  
Thank goodness it wasn't dark enough yet to become impossible.

"Sander!"

Robbe don't get anxious. He's not a child.

"Sandeeeeer!" Never mind.

“I'm here"

Robbe raises the flashlight a little bit and finds that boy's wonderful face.

"Dinner is almost ready, and... and..."  
This storm has every intention of lasting a long time."

"Robbe" Sander takes his shirt... 

"Robbe... what's your favorite book?"

Robbe understands. He understands that Sander needs to hear it. And so does he. They must give voice to this meeting or they risk to burst.  
Robbe turns around, and faces those wonderfully green eyes...

"Harry Potter" says in a puff. Yours?"

Sander remains motionless and as the rain continues to fall he says to him

"The Little Prince"

Robbe takes Sander’s hand that was clinging to his t-shirt and holds it in his.

"Let's go back to the cottage. Or tomorrow no pictures for the prince. Come, we need a clean change."

"Robbe... just..thank you."

The ice was finally broken. In response Robbe hold his hand even harder.

The lights in the cottage. The rain. The two of them. Who knows what fate has in store for them?


	4. You are not a coward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there’s a little part in which they are talking about car accident and death.  
> Everything remains on the surface but if you are sensitive be careful!!!!

"Thank you, Professor. Dinner was great."

It had been a quiet dinner and every once in a while Sander and Robbe would take a look at each other again to see if they had really found each other.

"Guys, now it's your turn: would you set the table and the kitchen? I'm tired and if we want to work at our best tomorrow we have to be awake and active so please no late hours in front of the TV ok?"

Robbe gets a pat on the back from his father; a way of saying good night that Robbe has come to know.  
Sander and Robbe remain silent for a while, looking for something interesting to say.

"Robbe, you set the table and I take care of the kitchen?"

"All right."

They do everything quietly.  
Their thoughts are so loud...  
They both want to say many things to each other but can't start over from where they left off days ago...  
Robbe finishes setting the table. His feet, in front of the table, would like to go to the kitchen... and talk... even just talk...

"Come on, Robbe, you can do it. You're here together. Don't be afraid."

Robbe takes a deep breath and enters the kitchen.  
Sander is finishing up the dishes.

"Can I help you?"

"Sure"

Sander's smile leaves him breathless: there is nothing more beautiful. A son of a photographer has seen some splendid images, but nothing compares to Sander's smile.  
As they finish drying the dishes, Sander and Robbe touch each other's hands... it is Sander who takes the initiative: after they touch each other and let them do it for a while, Sander takes Robbe's hand, shakes it and carries it over his heart. 

“Robbe... I... You..."

Sander doesn't open his eyes. He wants to feel all the sensations with his eyes closed.  
And that's when Robbe takes his face.

"Yes, I'm here... open your eyes... I want to see the sea."

Sander opens his eyes: 

"The sea?"

Robbe smiles:

"Yes, there he is. You take the sea with you and you don't know?"

Sander embraces him. How he missed feeling his warmth.  
People don't pay attention to it but each person radiates a different warmth and Robbe's warmth is so welcoming that Sander would never stop absorbing it.

“Hello."

"Hello."

"I missed you so much"

"Sander... You don't know how much I've been looking for you..."

The sound of a door forces them apart: 

"Guys, I'll get a bottle of water. Hey, great job in the kitchen! Remember the time!"

When his father disappears behind the door of his room, Robbe bursts out laughing and so does Sander.

“Oh, God, he must have thought we saw a ghost!"

"Yes, and maybe he didn't realize the ghost was really him!"

When they recover from laughter, they decide to watch some random TV program.  
Robbe puts his head on Sander's shoulder...  
This time the moment of silence was not created out of shyness, but to enjoy that wonderfully domestic time. 

"Robbe, can I ask you something? When we met at the party and I told you I was a former alcoholic... you acted as if I told you what university I went to... Why?"

“Because you didn’t say anything scary to me. My mother is an alcoholic but she remains a wonderful woman with so many qualities that I aspire to one day. You can't judge someone by a stumble. You can only admire the effort you're both putting into getting out."

Sander knew he had to offer him  
explanations

"You know Robbe, I'm an orphan. I mean my brother and I have no idea who my parents are. I didn't have a difficult childhood. The family that adopted us is the best that could have happened to me. To us. Then one day..."

Sander tries to get air

"One day my brother picks me up from school. He wants to take me to celebrate his birthday."

The air's not coming. It's not coming anymore. His lungs can't get any more.

"I don't... we're not going to make it to the bar. We're not... a truck doesn't run a stop sign. My brother dies on impact. I black out. I break a couple of ribs and I get surgery for some internal injuries.  
In two seconds, I lost the most important part of my life. And I tried to destroy myself with alcohol. Britt, my foster sister brought me back from hell.  
That's why I didn't want to bond with you, but I was wrong, you are..."

No air.  
“Sander. Breathe. On the count of three. Good. More. That's good. Don't stop. If you stop breathing, I won't be able to say thank you."

"For what"

"For your honesty. For going so deep. For telling me about your hell. Thank you."

Robbe embraces him and Sander feels free to cry.

"Robbe if things between us... I might try to run away... because I don't know if I'll survive another goodbye. I had to tell you. You deserve the best, not a coward who's constantly trying to escape."

"Sander... I don't think you're a coward. I'd like to see how it goes between us. And if you run away, I'll use my magic to find you. “

They're hugging. A new piece has been inserted into the canvas of their story.  
They fall asleep in each other's arms.  
When they wake up, the night has taken over.

“Would you... come sleep over?"

"Oh Robbe, I wish I could..."

"But?"

"But how about one step at a time? We've already done a lot of that today, actually."

"Yeah, you're right. One step at a time."

Sander approaches. He takes his face in his hands and kisses him. Long, gently, then deeper and deeper.

"Tomorrow night"

"Excuse me?"

"Tomorrow night, if you want, I'll sleep over."

“I will count the hours... Good night, Prince."

"I'll count them too. Good night, wizard..."

It's almost dawn. A new day.  
Robbe is looking forward to it. Now he has a reason with two beautiful eyes  
to live it. What will happen tomorrow?


	5. We have each other

That morning waking up had a new flavor. Robbe tried to remember every single moment he spent with Sander: if he had remembered them all, he would have been sure that it wasn't his fantasy.  
He is sure that he was in his room in his cottage and there is a sweet smell coming from the kitchen: his father was awake and was preparing breakfast. For the three of them.

After getting dressed Robbe goes to the bathroom to freshen up: when he opens the door he finds a beautiful blond prince who is brushing his teeth.

"Robbe, you scared me! Good morning anyway."

Sander approaches him and leaves a light kiss on his lips. 

"Good morning to you"

He still can't believe it. The morning couldn't have started better.  
Robbe hugs the boy to get his toothbrush: he would have liked to stop his father's course to enjoy Sander in these small but wonderful everyday moments.

"Sander... I'm not doing this because I know this course seems to be very important to you, but I'd be ready to sabotage it so I could have more time to do it."

Sander places his chin on Robbe's shoulder and speaks to him looking at him through the mirror.

"Taking pictures is one of the activities that saved me... only when I hold the camera in my hand I can make peace with the world and realize that it is full of beauty.   
Now that you are here with me I no longer have to use photography to remind myself how wonderful life is... look at you... in a very short time Robbe you have changed my perspective and being happy is becoming a wonderful experience.   
Now becoming a photographer is no longer a lifeline. Taking pictures is a confirmation. It's part of me. You, on the other hand, are inside me now."

Robbe can't hold back: he turns around and as he looks him in the eye, getting lost in that wonderful sea, he answers him

"You're a wonderful person. How much I'm in love with you I really don’t know, every time we talk this feeling gets bigger."

He kisses him. A kiss that confirms their words: long, passionate and full of love.

Robbe goes down to the kitchen first: 

"Good morning! What a smell!"

Robbe's father is putting the last things on the table

"My favorite meal you know Robbe... do you know if Sander is awake?"

Robbe tries to hide the excitement of hearing the boy's name coming out of his father's mouth...

"Uh, yeah, we met in the bathroom... I think he's setting up his equipment."

Robbe keeps his eyes on the table and takes a cookie.  
His father approaches and puts his hand on the boy's head and messes up his hair:

"Robbe, do you both really think I don't understand? Come on... It's been obvious since we arrived. Is he the guy from the party?isn’t he?

Robbe blushes for more than one reason

"Sorry dad but yesterday everything was so confused... as if we knew but we don't... anyway yes, he's the guy from the party. Don't start with your jokes though, okay? We're taking it slow."

"No jokes, son, promised. Actually I don't even have time to think about it much; in 45 minutes the other three students will arrive and we'll be ready to start the course.  
By the way, we'll all stay together today, I need to be sure that they start knowing some places without getting lost, and from tomorrow we'll split into two or three groups: tonight I’m going to do all the details."

While the father finishes giving the instructions to Robbe, Sander enters the room. Incredible is for Robbe to realise how Sander presence shows all things in an amazing new perspective. 

"Good morning, Sander. Sleep well, boy?"

"More than fine Professor, thank you."

Robbe takes one look at his father, while under the table the boys' hands never stop stroking each other.   
The breakfast continues with some ideas about places to visit for the group in the course.  
Sander and Robbe listen to the professor's many ideas and after eating they go back upstairs to finish picking up some things for the excursion.

When Robbe enters in his room to retrieve the boots Sander enters and pushes him gently but passionately against the wall.

"No way Robbe I need to say good morning to you as you deserve”

Robbe smiles at him, lifts his chin and whispers:

"Show me what this good morning Sander would look like."

Sander pushes his pelvis against Robbe's, and starts kissing his neck... and when Robbe gets completely carried away by Sander's kisses, the boy puts his lips on Robbe's and starts kissing with the same passion as on the night of the party.

"There you are at last."

"We've gone back in time, haven't we?"

"Yes, but this time it will be easier to meet again... tonight we will stay together again."

"Yes... and our good night will be even better than today good morning, I promise."

When they get off, the other students have already arrived: two are part of the same course as Sander, the third, Lars, is in his final year. 

Sander says hi to the guys and approaches his backpack with his equipment: instead Robbe stay next to the older boy enough to hear Lars whispering

"There he is, everybody's recommended. But sooner or later..."

Robbe would have liked to respond to start fighting fire with fire, but he preferred to go further... he didn't like the tone of that boy at all.  
During the excursion Robbe and Sander decide to take the course seriously and are content to lose themselves for a few seconds in each other's eyes.  
Robbe often stays in the company of Lars: a boy is focused on technique... for his father's taste too focused on technique.   
Every time he takes a picture he has to spit mud on Sander unnecessarily.

"Sorry Lars, can I ask you why you're so mad at Sander?"

Lars turns to look Robbe. His eyes are two pins:

"Because he's only in a position of advantage because of his family situation.

He always cries about it and immediately he has everything. It doesn't work like that. And in this class I have every intention of exposing his cunning."

Robbe is speechless. It's still unclear what Lars has in mind.  
He decides that despite those words hurt him, he has to follow that boy because he doesn't trust him and he starts to keep him able to move on to physical violence.

They arrive at a clearing.

Robbe in that place had played football with a lot of children who spent weeks on those hills in the scouts' groups. It was a peaceful place full of memories for him.  
They stop for a short break and Sander approaches the professor to get some explanations on how to focus in case of haze without overexposing the image and making it unreal.  
Lars was bruised in the face, decidedly upset by Sander approach that only to him seemed excessive... 

"look at him rubbing up against the Professor. He's practically got him. Unbelievable. The poor alcoholic with a dead brother has more weight than..."

Robbe really can't take it anymore. It's been a long time since he felt the blood of that primordial anger boiling.

“I’m sorry, more weight than who ? An incompetent who, instead of striving to improve himself, loses breath and time spitting mud on another student? You're slandering not only Sander who, with his passion for photography and technique, overcomes you without problems, you're also slandering my father: do you think he's stupid enough to be fooled? Who do you think you are?"

Robbe approaches Lars and grabs him by the t-shirt. 

"You don't even tie their shoes. My father made a mistake, though. He gave you a chance. You don't even deserve to call my father a professor. You're the worst kind of scum, I... I..."

“Robbe!"

The father approaches

"Enough, Robbe, it's all right, I'll sort it out now, all right? Leave his shirt... Robbe, leave the shirt... Do you want to go home?"

Without say anything, Robbe turns and leaves.  
Sander grabs his bag and tries to reach him, but the professor prevents him

"Sander, I know you're worried, but when Robbe is like this he needs to be alone for a while... Trust me. Now we'll have a chat and then I'll decide what kind of action take."

Sander couldn't wait to get back to the cottage and take care of Robbe.  
When the impromptu meeting ended he decided to ask permission to go down to the cottage.  
When he arrives everything seems quiet.   
He opens the door and he is listens: no noise.  
He looks for Robbe on the sofa, in the kitchen... He knows He's not there, but he needs time to figure out what to say without hurting him. 

Finally he knocks on his bedroom door:   
No answer.  
Try again.   
Quiet.

“Robbe, it's me. Can I come in?"

"I don't... Sander... do you really want to see a monster?"

Sander tries to open the door: it is already open and he opens it slowly, without haste.  
Robbe is curled up on the bed.  
Sander kneels down and starts stroking his head. 

"You know, I looked for monsters all over the house before I came up to you but I didn't see any. Can I lie down next to you?"

Robbe moves to make room for him.

“Do you still want to be next to someone who can't handle anger?"

“Hey... Robbe. You defended and me and your father. You didn't hurt anyone."

"I would have done it if my father hadn't stopped me."

Sander keeps stroking him.   
He knows no other way to show him how close he feels to him.

“Robbe...You said that yesterday. Everybody has a hell to try to get away from.  
If this is yours then we'll face it together.   
Don't feel lonely because you're not ok OK? You defended us from evil... even if it was too much, it was an act of love and it made me fall even more in love with you."

“Sander. I have to start meditating again. Mediation is the only thing that helps me to control the anger. I try everything before... when I was a child when I was a child this episodes happened often and with a certain regularity.  
Now growing up they are more and more rare but they are also more dangerous...   
I don't want it to happen again, I... I can't risk hurting you... I get scared. Forgive me You're too important to me to let anyone think of hurting you even with words. As I stop thinking about punching Lars...Would you like to give me a hug?"

“Whenever you want baby. If you want we can try meditating together. Let's start with breathing."

Robbe kisses him and says

"What have I done to deserve this? To deserve you?Do you have any idea how deep I feel about you?"

“We deserve each other and we're so lucky to have found love being together”

They rub each other's noses and one forehead rests on the other. 

“Sander I think We have to breathe"

"Yes. Inhale... exhale. Together nothing will hurt us anymore”


	6. Fate gift

Someone is knocking on the door, "Are you guys okay? Can I come in?"

Sander is sitting on the bed while Robbe has his head resting on his lap.

"Robbe is your father"

Sander whispers to him.

“Come in, Dad it’s open."

His father comes in. He sits at the foot of the bed and start caressing his son's legs...

"How are you now?"

"Better. Sander helped me with the meditation. But I still feel dangerous."

“Remember how many times you and Mom and I talked about it? "Accept it and get better" remember?  
We can't be perfect human beings, but we can get better. You did it. You found the key to keep this thing at bay. It's okay. You just tripped. You did it to defend two people you love. Did you do it the wrong way? Yes, you did. But you can fix it.  
The others are downstairs. If you feel up to it when dinner's ready, you can clear it with Lars.  
Sander, I'll start cooking dinner soon... will you help me?"

“With... pleasure..."

"See you in a bit then. Robbe... I'll leave Sander for a while... but then I need him. He's a wizard in the kitchen."

As soon as he's coming out of the room Robbe calls him:

"Daddy. Thank you. I'll try to talk to Lars. I don't feel like it, but I will... I had two good coaches today."

When they are alone, Sander lies down and brings Robbe up.

"You and I are official, it seems..."

"He figured it out right away. As soon as he got out of the car, my face had already spilled everything to him."

"Do you think we're bad actors or just too much in love?"

After some minute of silence in which the two lovers were staring at each other, Robbe says:

"Sander, before my father kidnaps you... can I show you what I think?"

Robbe looks his boyfriend in the eye and realizes that the sea they contain is the best medicine he could find. There he feels at home, protected, including... in that sea, his anger dissolves and Lars loses the power to make him lose control.  
His lips melt. The sound of their kisses is a melody to Robbe's ears.  
His hands approach the shirt and he carries it over Sander's head who obeys Robbe's movements without speaking. 

"I love to hear the sound of  
Our breaths, you know? Let me take care of you now, will you?"

He's not waiting for an answer. He knows what they both want at that moment...

"Robbe... Robbe... Please..." 

"Sander! Can you come down?" 

The disappointment is painted on their faces

"Coming, Professor!"

Sander approaches Robbe's face and whispers to him:

"It's all just postponed, do you want to take care of me later?"

"I could take you away in the middle of our dinner"

When he goes down, he doesn't feel any tension in the air and this reassures him: his classmates are discussing about telephotolens and Lars looks at a television program about archaeological excavations with a bored face.

The kitchen is open: probably Robbe's father wants to keep things under control.

"Here I am, what should I do?"

Sander strangely doesn't feel uncomfortable: he doesn't understand how this is possible, but he believes he has found a supporter in the professor and somehow this makes him feel good.

"Help me clean this vegetable."

After a few minutes of silence Robbe's father continues without taking his eyes off what he is doing:

"Sander, how is he?"

"He's fine, Professor, he still doesn't understand why his problem started again... he's worried but telling his story helped. He fears that meditation is no longer enough."

The professor stops, turns towards the salon and remains staring at a point without curiosity. 

“Sander. We're not a perfect family. We've made mistakes, even big ones, but there's never been a lack of love. When Robbe started having these fits of anger we all tried. Everything. Even the medication.  
Nothing seemed to work. The point is we were taking the wrong approach.  
We didn't have to find a solution to defeat this part of Robbe, we had to find a way to live with it.  
When we figured that out it was Robbe with meditation who found a way to deal with it.  
I don't want you to feel obliged for what I'm about to tell you to do, but my son usually doesn't look at anyone during these crises, as if nothing else existed but his anger. But today his eyes went straight for you. 

I believe that destiny has finally wanted to help him, bringing him those who can really help him even with his presence alone."

They remain silent watching nowhere for a while until Sander has something to say too:

"I think fate was kind to both of us: after my brother's death the idea of finding someone and then losing him devastated me.  
With Robbe I understood, after a hesitant start, that fear is no good and that you have to enjoy these moments. My sister Britt was right, but I had to touch happiness to understand.  
Maybe it's too early to say this and maybe you're not the right person to tell, but I really believe that Robbe and I are meant to be together."

At that very moment Robbe arrives. He is tense, his hands tight as fists... he looks at Sander, then at his father and sits on the sofa, at a safe distance from Lars. 

"What are you looking at?"

He asks to break the ice

"Do you really care?"

"Honestly? Not at all. But I wanted to find a hookup to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I overreacted so violently.  
You struck a nerve and I couldn't control myself. And I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you that.”

Lars is looking at him. His eyes are two slits. Again. Robbe is preparing for a new attack. And he starts thinking about the calm his boyfriend gives him Sander, who is waiting for him in the kitchen. Along with his father. That feeling calms him deeply and he feels that anger becomes a tiny dot in his mind. When he refocuses his gaze on Lars his eyes are rounded: he doesn't smile, but seems less inclined to use his sharp tongue.

"Listen Robbe. I don't like Sander. I still think he uses his family tragedy to gain advantage over us. But he is also undeniably a gifted photographer. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?"

"Okay." 

They shake hands. Without too much emotion but for everyone in that house it is a symbol of a new beginning.

Robbe gets up from the couch; he smiles at the two guys who finally have their faces stretched out after hours of anxiety. 

Then he enters the kitchen and runs to hug Sander

"Thank you" whispers to him

“For what?"

Sander answers as he keeps stroking his head.

“Because you were there with me. I could have fallen back into the abyss of anger but the thought of you helped me so thank you."

Robbe's father looks at the two boys with clear eyes: now he knows that his son has really found happiness.  
Tomorrow will be a lighter day for everyone.


	7. Love and linden trees

Sander looks at him. His eyes closed, his breath regular... his mouth ajar in a satisfied smile.  
The dark curls falling on his lying forehead... Sander looks at him and smells Robbe everywhere. The linden tree with its persistent scent no longer exists. The smell of Robbe is a powerful aphrodisiac.   
"What are you thinking about?"  
Robbe opens an eye   
"I wondered if we were still under the cloak of invisibility..."  
At that point Sander had completely captured Robbe's attention...  
"I guess so... what would you do to wish you wouldn't be seen?"  
Sander approaches the lamp and turns it off... the light that illuminates them could only come from the moon, but unfortunately tonight is only a very weak fourth... Sander caresses the boy's body and searches for Robbe's lips, which are not asking to be silenced by Sander's lips.   
The kisses descend towards other sensitive points because Sander's mouth asks for more flavours, it asks for more from that magical night.  
When the sun rises shyly towards the centre of the sky, the two boys are still sleeping...   
"Hey honey... we have to go back in."  
Sander caresses the curly boy's back  
"What time is it?"  
Robbe stretches and kisses Sander  
"Good morning, handsome man"  
"Good morning to you... it's about 5:00 and in about an hour and a half we have to be ready to start taking pictures."

"Come to think of it, we still don't have a picture together."  
"From now on I will photograph you at all times..." Sander gets up to look for his clothes and Robbe looks at him as if he had been kidnapped...   
"Sander..."   
"Tell me"  
"I love you"  
Sander turns and throws himself at him.  
"Say it again"  
"I love you"  
"Still"  
"I love you so much Sander."

"Never stop Robbe"  
"Do what?"  
"To love me"  
"I don't intend to."  
"Because I love you so much too, I can't imagine myself without you."

After that night and after finally coming out, kissing had changed the taste again.  
They went back hand in hand to the cottage.   
Sander's phone rings: "It's my sister, see you in a little while for breakfast."  
And with a kiss, he accepts Britt's call.


	8. The evil is here

"Britt, hi, how are you?"  
"How are you, I haven't heard a single message from you since you left..."  
"Never been better... Britt, do you feel... when you start loving? I mean, can one person really love another right away?"  
"Oh Sander, of course it is... “  
"Britt"  
Silence  
"Britt, what is it? “  
Silence again, but Sander understands that his sister is crying...   
"Come on, sis... Breathe and tell me what happened."  
"No." Britt can say, "No," not over the phone. Can we meet up this Afternoon? Please"  
"You don't even have to ask, honey, I'll give you the address. Just tell me if Mom and Dad are involved."  
"No no no, it's my thing Sander, I'm sorry..."

Sander speaks to her in a soft, affectionate tone of voice...  
"Britt, what are you supposed to be sorry about? You're my sister. My favorite one.”  
"Idiot of course I am because I am Your only sister"  
"Yeah, and my only sister at least smiled and of course we are waiting for you."  
"You and..."  
"Robbe and I... got together."  
"We'll have a lot to talk about then, little brother."  
"See you later, Britt, I love you."  
"See you later, I love you too."

During breakfast Sander tells the others about his sister's phone call, without going into details to avoid making Lars nervous;   
"I was wondering if she could stop by this afternoon to say hello... if everyone's okay."  
"We'll finish working on the third project of the week around 4 this afternoon... then you're free to manage the evening, just let me know if you'll be in for dinner."  
The professor had learned to stay a little more on the general too so as to avoid tensions... and it seemed to be working... 

When Sander enters in his room to set up the equipment, he finds Robbe sitting on the bed.   
"Hey, are you ready yet?"  
"Yes, I had already prepared everything last night before we went out."  
Robbe gets up and kisses Sander...  
"I'm here to see how you're doing."  
"In your arms? Divinely."  
Robbe looks at him with an expression halfway between satisfied and worried  
"Me too, my love, but now I'm talking about your sister."  
Sander sighs and rests his forehead on Robbe's chest...  
"She wouldn't tell me anything, but it's something about her... usually she is a rock so it must be something serious."  
Robbe's holding on to him   
"If you will and if Britt will, I will do everything I can to help you."  
Sander says nothing for a moment and lets himself be carried away by the positive feelings that Robbe gives him with his only presence.  
"Robbe, of course. I'm sure Britt will open her heart to you. How could she not? God, I wish everything could be like this today... but it's time to go darling, come on!"  
And with a pat on the ass he walks with Robbe outside the house.

Photographing has always been a way for Sander to focus his attention and to avoid falling into the abyss of pain and alcohol: today with the presence of his boyfriend, he realizes how similar they are in certain life aspects: finding ways to quiet the cries that come from their deepest and most intimate parts.  
Time passes, the tips that the professor offers are exceptional and Sander memorizes them with disarming ease.   
Robbe is fascinated by the way Sander immerses himself in his father's lessons: the passion he feels is evident and Robbe finds himself watching him ecstatic. 

Returning from the lesson Britt is on a bench in the cottage: a beautiful blonde wearing sunglasses and a small shoulder bag.   
She greets everyone politely but when she sees her brother she throws herself into his arms.  
She doesn't say anything and they stay like that for minutes   
Robbe caresses Sander's shoulder and passes them without saying anything.  
"Robbe wait!"  
Sander stops him and offers him a hand while Britt dries some tears that is falling and looks at the two guys.

"Oh my God Sander... You're so tender... look at how in love you are. I'm so happy for you guys."  
Both Sander and Robbe understand that he is telling the truth but they also understand that under that smile a shadow is swallowing the beautiful emotions of that girl. 

"Hey sis, do you want to go for a walk Right now?  
"Yes... Robbe come too... I need to keep feeling your love, so I can believe in it again."

They come to the first plain with some benches and sit there.

"Remember Victor?"  
"Sure you liked him a lot and it seemed like something serious..."  
"Yes... he was so sweet... we had such a wonderful time and I really thought we were going to be a couple for a long time... but... the other night I was on the phone with a tutor to discuss some tests on my thesis and he comes over and when he realizes there's a man on the other side, he doesn't understand anything. And he does this to me."  
Britt shows the swollen, black eye

"I ran away, I told Mom and Dad everything and now I'm here because I needed you."

All three of them remain silent for a while, Sander overwhelmed by the temptation to punch his sister's ex-boyfriend; he waits to calm down and holds Robbe's hand, who has surely been struck by Britt's words, and comforts her by stroking her hair".  
"Sorry Sander, I know I ruined your day but I couldn't stop telling you..."  
"Hey sis, it's okay, I'm here for you..."

Robbe stands up, smiles and kisses Britt on the head to say goodbye.   
"I'll leave you two alone for a bit, okay? You need to be alone."  
"Robbe... are you okay?"  
Sander knows everything's not going well  
"Don't worry, I'll see you later."  
And with a kiss too fast for the two guys, he leaves.   
One problem at a time Sander... everything will work out... 

Being with his sister remains one of the most beautiful things life has given him: He knows That she's strong and she will smile again soon. They cuddle for a few more minutes in front of the taxi that will take her back to the city.   
"As soon as I finish this 10 days we spend a day together, just you and me okay?"  
"Sander you're my hero"  
"And you are mine"  
Watch the taxi become smaller and smaller, then Sander runs like the wind from Robbe

"Professor, have you seen Robbe?"  
"Isn't he in his room?"  
"No, and it's getting dark now."  
Suddenly Sander knows where he can find him:   
"I think I know where he is if I don't see you good night."  
"No dinner, guys?"  
"Ah excuse us... maybe we'll go to the pub for a bite to eat."  
"Okay, guys, don't be too late."

Sander's in a hurry to find him.   
Robbe is right where he thought he would be, among his lindens... He has his eyes on the ground like his mood.

"Hey, sweetie."  
"Don't touch me Sander... Have you seen what can happen to us? What can happen to you? I... I can't even think about it."

"Robbe look at me. You're not Victor. “  
"I could be worse for all we know."  
"Don't do this, please"  
"What? Stay as far away as possible from you?I've already started Sander. I can't think of hurting you."

They both cry. Sander gets up. He feels like throwing up. To drink and vomit until he feels empty. He walks to the cottage, goes into the kitchen, gets a drink and a glass and... he doesn't. He won't win. Neither will Robbe, nor his desire to self-destruction.  
He retraces his steps. One after the other. The scent drives him. He wanders a couple of times and scratches himself with brambles.   
Then he hears someone crying in the distance. Someone who cries and screams.   
"That's him."  
Sander runs. That's all he did today. But for Robbe he'd run to the ends of the earth if he had to. He finds him a few metres from where he left off and Sander hurls himself at him.  
He lands him so he won't let him get away and forces him to look him straight in the eye.

“Don't you dare leave me Mr. Ijzermans. What we have is so fair and perfect and rare that I won't let you ruin it for your fucking fears. I love you, I love you for what you've been and will be. I love you and a shadow will not break our feelings and to say it all, I will not move from here unless we make it clear first."

Robbe has eyes full of tears. He is terrified of his condition now that the man of his life knows that he exists and is with him.

"Sander. I'm afraid. I love you too much to risk..."  
“You won't. I know you won't, and if it happens, we'll take the pieces and reconstruct our story piece by piece, minute by minute."  
“Sander"  
“Robbe you are my whole life."  
"You too"  
“Let's go to bed."

They eat fruit and chips on Robbe's bed, and after they clean up their tough day, they lie in bed in a string of arms and mouths  
"We are this Robbe.We are wonderful"  
“Wonderful and Magic my prince.”


	9. What love must be

Robbe and Sander don't say much that night... they just need caresses, they need to feel that one is there for the other; to reiterate once again that theirs are only fears and that things, especially their history, must be lived to hell with what will happen.  
The important thing is what they are now and deserve to be happy. Together.  
"I'm sorry, Sander..."  
"I know Robin... I know. There is no need to apologize. I knew that my sister’s story hit your most vulnerable part. I knew right away that you'd try to get away from me. But the important thing is that everything has been cleared up. It's my fault, too. I should have prevented you from leaving..."  
"No, your sister had priority... "  
Sander kisses him slowly, almost in slow motion, to close his speech and let things slowly return to their place.

"Let's make a promise"  
"Which one?"  
"Whatever happens, we'll stay together and fight for us."  
"Sander. Whatever happens, I won't run away anymore, but I'll find your support."  
Sander and Robbe are caressing each other, not because they want to make it want... they caress to meet, to confirm what they said the night before... They caress to be even closer.  
Sander only picks up the phone when he finds out that Robbe fell asleep.  
Send a message and wait: When he receives an answer, he moves slowly and slowly steps out of the room whispering to Robbe:  
"I'm just going out for a second, I'm not leaving you okay?"  
Sander receives a "mmmhhh" response; On his way out, he's in front of Robbe's father.  
"Professor, I must ask you a huge favor. Can we skip tomorrow's day Robbe and I?"  
"Sander... before I answer you, can I know why?"  
Sander tells him about what happened to his sister, the reaction of distrust of Robbe himself, and how they almost got lost. Again.

"I can't lose him, Professor... i need a day for us. No other commitments."

Robbe's father puts his hand on his shoulder: "Sander. My son needs you as much as you need him. I don't usually allow discounts or breaks.  
Let me rethink the course.  
Maybe I'll have everybody take a break tomorrow and take them somewhere... "

Sander can only hug him.  
" Thank you. I know I ask you a lot. I know I made a commitment. And I want to keep on attending this and the classes you want to sign me up for. But Robbe is more than love and passion for photography. I had to ask you and not lie to you to skip a class day."

"Apologies accepted Sander. I understand the difficulty of the situation but at the same time I take my work seriously.  
I don't do it because it's my son we're talking about, but for you, because my best student was honest with me and unlike what Lars thinks you didn't try to fool me. Find yourself, I'll try to keep someone's fire at bay. Good night, Sander."

"Good night"

When Sander gets back into the room, Robbe still sleeps:.. seeing him so relaxed comforts him.  
He puts his arms back at his disposal, and even though he's asleep, Robbe dives into it.  
"It will be a fantastic day. There's something we deserve."

In the morning, Sander wakes up because his phone is ringing.  
The Professor was able to organize an Off Day for everyone. They will go to some of the countries in the area to visit it: they'll bring the equipment but there won't be a real lesson. When asked about the whereabouts of the chillies, his father unfortunately had to lie, to avoid further unnecessary tensions, saying that Sander then preferred to visit his sister who had had a car accident on his way home yesterday. Robbe would have stayed home to fix some of the equipment if the  
Father and prepare dinner for the evening.  
Of course, Robbe's father wasn't happy he had to lie, and Sander knew that the next few days he would have to give his best and best. Even more so as not to lose the esteem of his mentor.

"What's going on?”  
He asks Robbe to put himself on Sander's shoulder and kiss him.

"I asked your father for a day off for us. He is going to take the others to a nearby country; they'll be back tonight. The thing is, we're going to have to clean up your father's lenses and prepare dinner for everyone.  
I'm sorry I didn't ask you, Robbe, but I thought it was something we really needed... "

Robbe follows Sander's neck line with his nose;  
"You had a great idea, my love... what would you like to do today?"

"Nothing"  
"Nothing?"  
"Yes, nothing. No programs: if something comes to mind, we do it."  
Robbe thinks for a second, then he says:  
"Let's call my mother. A video call. I need her to know that I've been so happy since you came in my life.”

"So why then yesterday..."  
Sander knew they were supposed to talk about it, but he didn't expect to face it right away in the morning.  
"Oh Sander"  
He tells him Robbe with his displeased face  
"Because I don't want to hurt you. I couldn't help thinking that I could do the same thing that Victor did to your sister. How could I look you back in the eye if that happens? How could I come back and tell you that I love you? Can one person love and at the same time destroy the other? "  
Sander takes his hands in:  
"It’s ok Robbe. I don't know what happens to your mind in those moments. I still don't know how to really help you and we'll work together to understand it, but I'm sure about your feeling. I'm sure you'd never hurt me. Your father told me that the other day with Lars you, for the first time during your crisis, you looked for me. is there something to say?"

"You see, your eyes besides making me fall in love with you have the power to take me to the sea, I actually see the sea there, and I can't explain how that's possible, They are making me feel so calm..."

"So, my love, what are you afraid of? Look at me, I don't have any. I want you. Staying with you. Knowing you"

Robbe starts kissing his boyfriend: the neck, the cheeks, the cheekbones... the warm lips, the tongue that seeks the other... He's approaching him, the basins that touch eachother, the hands that looking for the other...  
Bodies getting rid of their clothes  
And the faces that hide one under the legs of the other.  
The sighs, the half words. The "I love you" said in a sigh, the desires that are guided by the rhythmic movements of two souls that they want and do not get tired of finding each other. Because this is love. And it's still a finding in spite of everything.

Robbe calls his mother: He exhibit Sander , they talk and laugh until she has to hang up, with the promise that the kids must have to visit her soon.  
Then Robbe shows him the best memories that he holds and all the stories of his childhood:  
The plain where he played with the Boy Scouts and where he started to have his anger-management difficulties... The streets he was traveling with his grandparents, where they built walking sticks and invented stories about the life of fairies and gnomes.

On the way, they arrive at a tiny waterfall: Robbe tells of all the times he tried to get through it without luck: fear had always blocked him  
"Well, it's not a waterfall..."  
Sander laughs at the thought of Robbe as a child terrified by that miniature waterfall

"Hey, I was a one-time, scared kid!"  
They start pushing and tickling, until they fall into the pool.  
"Come on, Ijzermans, take a shower!"  
"You're gonna make fun of me for a long time?"  
"I'd stop if I just kept my mouth busy..."

After hundreds of kisses and caresses and untied buttons and T-shirts raised to feel skin contact againRobbe watches Sander serious  
"Robbe...tell me, i'm here listening."  
"Sander, let's make love"  
"Darling wouldn't be our first time..."  
Robbe's got him tight. Their bodies are ready for this, no doubt 

"I know Sander, but this is the first time I've said it out loud and I feel like I've made it... like...more official, you know?"  
Sander is approaching Robbe's ear  
"I feel like making love to you too... now... is there anything you want more than anything else?"  
"Yes," Robbe says, continuing to stroke Sander's belly, "I'd like us to tell ourselves what we're going to do to the other. I'd like us to tell ourselves how we feel and explain how we'd like to be caressed."  
Sander can't resist anymore. "now i'm gonna slam your pants again and lower your boxers..."

Making love by speaking was becoming, as Robbe said, a more official, more intimate gesture. They could understand the other, their desires, the places where they wanted to be touched and kissed. Making love had always been intense for the two of them, but doing so, had wiped out all the modesty left, they had just been able to go beyond pleasure.

Because love was, yes, to find each other, but also to understand the most intimate wishes of the other and to trust the point to tell them.

Sander was right: that day was getting more than awesome, and it was coming in memorable.


	10. Please, Universe...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: violence scene with some blood if you are uncomfortable please be careful!

When they return home, they are fradic but happy: they hold hands and laugh.  
Happiness is having a wonderful effect on their lives.  
They're still dealing with tensions and misunderstandings, but they both feel that something has changed.  
After the shower, time is taken to clean the lens of Robbe's father equipment.  
They're talking about the future, what's waiting for them... The end of the school, job expectations and Sander's desire to become a photographer.  
"I'd like to work with your father, but I don't want to get too weird working with my father-in-law..."

Robbe smiles,  
"That’s so cute..."  
"What?"  
"hearing you talk about my father as your father-in-law... "  
"Well, if my calculations are not wrong, it will one day become real."  
"I'm counting the days."

Time to prepare dinner becomes a universe of small, banal but no less important gestures for two neolovers.  
There is a need for normality in a story in which normality had not yet had its rightful place.

When everyone comes, Sander is upstairs, and Robbe welcomes the group that tells and shows the photographs they took during the trip.  
The Father explains that tomorrow there would be a short time when they would show the images and find small imperfections or errors of choice of the lens and then start with the course itself.

Dinner is quiet: Sander asks to the couple of companions about the latest developments in the telephoto field; Robbe helps his father to fix the kitchen and they say nothing to avoid uncovering the mystery of the trip outside the door.  
“Lars is very quiet probably he is tired.”  
“I think he is.”  
No more words. 

They're all ready to go to their own rooms when Lars calls Sander who almost took the stairwell. When Sander turns around, he gets hit in the stomach by a blade.  
"I said you weren't going to get away with it."

The two boys block Lars on the pavement: he is strangely refuses to resign in search of escape while Robbe’s father calls ambulance and police.

Robbe runs to Sander and falls down.  
"Stay with me... my love, stay with me...everything will be fine."  
Robbe doesn't hear anything. it's not time to hear anything. He holds his boy's hand on his heart, as if to make him understand how to keep his own boy beating.  
Sander's weak. Too weak.  
Blood is flowing too fast.  
"I love you, Sander. Hang on. Please. Think about us, think about what we promised."

Sander is cold. He doesn't feel pain, but it's as if the ice had taken the place of his blood.  
He doesn't want to scare Robbe, but his boyfriend’s face is already so worried... he wants to talk, but he can't. he's so tired... he start thinking about Britt, about his parents...  
His brother's face, which he was forgetting, is vivid again in his mind, smiling keeps his door open to go to celebrate...  
Before sinking into a strange sleep he  
hears Robbe. His warm voice keeps him from sleeping, and then he hears someone taking him with strange maneuvers and he trains him on something that swings. And he knows they're taking him away.  
"Robbe my love, are you coming with me?"

Robbe was still with his gaze fixed. The bloodsucking hands of his great love.  
Lars was taken into custody while the  
Paramedics were trying to stabilize Sander and his bleeding.  
Then before they close the ambulance door they look at Robbe  
"Get in? I think your boyfriend needs you."

"Dad... "  
"Go I'll take care of it."  
"Dad, I'm afraid"  
"Robbe. Look at me. Look at me. One step at a time. Get in the ambulance and keep talking to Sander. Go. Fear and thoughts drive them away. Act. Leave the rest to later."

When the ambulance leaves that place  
Robbe's father, now alone, falls down crying and begins to clean up the blood on the Floor.

"Please, universe. Don't do this to him. To them.Those two... "  
But he can't finish the sentence: despair takes over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your  
> support!  
> I know it's a hard and hard chapter...  
> I'd have the epilogue ready... let me know if you want it tomorrow!!!


	11. Always

It's been six months.  
Six months since that terrible day, when everything changed, again.  
Robbe had returned to the cottage a few days earlier for the first time.   
Before entering he had wanted to take a walk in the places where he could still find the most beautiful memories: the season had changed but at least the winter had made it sweeter to remember.  
He still had nightmares about that night. He still couldn't give peace to his thoughts. 

If he didn't concentrate on the snow-covered meadow he saw Sander's bloodstains.  
He could still hear the metallic sounds of the hospital. The technical words, the pats on the shoulder.

His face still bore the marks of the  
Sleepless nights looking for the sea. That sea that only Sander's eyes could give him.  
Life had been a great whore with him and his family.  
And while he thought again and again about those cursed months, the phone started ringing: 

"Honey, come help me make lunch."  
His mother. How much she must have suffered in the clinic knowing the hell her family was going through out there. She had been strong and brave her mom and now she had a chance to be with her men for a couple of weeks.

"I'll be right there, Mommy."

When he arrives in the kitchen he tries to leave in a corner of his mind the evening when they turned around with his father and saw Sander dying: he can't hold back the tears. He can't. That pain must make him come out; it has held him back so much that now piece by piece he comes out uncontrollably.

His mother notices and holds him tight: if she could cradle him again as she did when he was a baby... "honey... let go... don't hold back... maybe you should close this circle, you say?"  
Robbe knew exactly what his mother meant:  
"I'm not ready. Lars' parents will have to wait. I couldn't handle the anger I feel for them and their bloody son. They can't ask for my forgiveness. It's not time yet."

"All right, honey, whatever... one step at a time..."

"As always, Mother..."

As they return to the kitchen floor to prepare lunch, the two of them talk about many things, especially about the vacation their father is planning when she finally gets out of rehab.

"Same old detail freak, right?"  
"Oh yes, and he keeps everything shrouded in mystery..."  
"By the way, where is he?"  
"Guess what..." 

Robbe raises his eyes: exasperated smiles amused; he knows exactly where his father has gone.

"Robbe?"

Britt comes over and gives him a kiss on the cheek.  
"How many tanks of tears have you got, young man?"

"Britt..."  
"Get in, he's waiting for you. I'm going to get my parents before they get lost in the woods." 

Robbe doesn't take the stairs. He flies.  
"Excuse me."

"Come in."  
"Dad, can you leave him alone? Stop talking about photography. My husband is still recovering."  
"Hey, he asked me to come over and have a little chat... “  
"Excuse me, but since I'm not dead, I'd like a kiss from my husband."  
"As many as you want"  
The father stands up  
"Message received, guys, see you downstairs later."

"Hello, gorgeous, how are you?"  
Sander laughs

"I'm fine, Robbe, I'm fine, really: I'm cured, the doctors said so too: the only one who still isn't convinced is you... but I like being spoiled by this beautiful man... come here."

It had been great to actually kiss him again a few weeks earlier.   
Robbe had continued to do it at the hospital but it wasn't the same.   
The post-op days and those that followed had been full of hope: Sander's body had to react on its own; the operation had been successful and it was only necessary to wait.  
Then, when things started to improve, Robbe had had to talk dozens of times with the police to clarify things.   
When Sander had finally been considered out of danger, his lips were dry and full of cuts: in short, he had kissed Sander hundreds of times in hospital but the most beautiful kiss had been exchanged during the last day of his stay.   
Robbe had prepared everything: the families knew and when Robbe entered the room he asked Sander point-blank to marry him, no greetings, nothing how are you: "marry me Sander" had been the first sentence of that day.  
The Big yes covered with Sander's tears had been followed by a kiss: true, soft warm: finally they were really back together.

Now Robbe and Sander were not losing  
Opportunity to Kiss each other: To make up for lost time and because kissing was really wonderful, so why not?

"How do you feel with your wedding ring on your finger?"  
Sander asks while getting out of bed 

"Perfectly, like it's always been a part of me."  
Their hands shine but the golden rings they wear on their fingers have nothing to do with it: it is their happiness that makes them so bright.   
"Britt and yours will stay two more days, but I'm taking you away for lunch."

Sander is confused: "What's on your mind?"  
"Let's spend some time in our place. What do you say?"

Sander has now regained his strength: Robbe still forces him to rest during the day, but the healing is now complete.

Robbe's mother has meanwhile prepared a basket for their picnic.  
The boys say goodbye to their families and head for the clearing. 

"Robbe... but... a tent!"  
"I had to make everything a little more comfortable than usual. And hey, it's winter. We shouldn't be cold in here... “  
Sander sits on her husband:   
"You can always warm me up. You're very good at it... “  
"Love but are not you hungry?"  
"Right now I want to get indigestion from you, then maybe we'll eat some real food."

"Are you sure you won't be cold?"  
"Robbe... ...stop talking and undress me."

His wonderful husband, a lover of photography, with eyes that contained the sea, had gained weight, strength and was beautiful. The first thing Robbe does is run his fingers over the still reddish "accident" scar...   
"I'm sure the fear will come back very, very late to see us... I exhausted it that damn day."

"Would you like to see the glass half full with me?"  
"We'll try, but I can't guarantee it'll work."  
Sander smiles slyly: he knows perfectly how to bring the atmosphere back to just a few minutes earlier;

"Well, first thing after what happened we never broke up again, you married me, and now we're in a tent, you and I are ready to do."

"Doing what?"

"Robbe, my masked wizard... I belong to you from that party. You know that, right? And now I want to make love to the best husband I could hope to meet..."

Robbe draws him to himself, his lips touching Sander's:

"You've always been my prince: I would have searched for you and your eyes to the ends of the world. I'm so happy to live this life with you... and now... tell me what you want..."

"I want you, always"  
"And you will always have me"


End file.
